Somehow, every single fucking day of the year is a bullshit “national” holiday of sorts. Like, you may have felt strangely obligated to post a photo of your dog with some bullshit sappy message about how he’s your best friend on March 23rd, AKA National Puppy Day, because all your friends were doing it. You may have eaten a grilled cheese and Instagrammed it on National Grilled Cheese Day (which was April 12th, btw). You may have even talked like a pirate on National Pirate Day (Sept. 19th)—but I really hope you didn’t.
A quick browse of my Twitter feed this morning brought to my attention that today is National Send A Nude Day, so betches everywhere need to be on their A-game. I don’t know who thinks of these other, harmless bullshit holidays, but it’s obvious the fuckboys of the USA got together for this one. Nice try, fuckboys, but this isn’t going to work. We weren’t going to grace you with our naked form yesterday, and some made-up hashtag isn’t going to convince us to do it today. We semi applaud your efforts, though. Next time, try putting this much effort into your relationships/not being a fuckboy, and you just might get some results.
Betches, for those of you on Tinder, be extra vigilant in your inbox today because you’ll probably see more pathetic naked pic attempts than usual. Actually, you might just want to stay off Tinder altogether.
Give dirty looks not dirty pics 2K16.