Why Betches Can Never Make Up Their Mind

By Miss Ameribetch

It’s so hard being a strong independent woman and having to make decisions all the time, especially when history has proven that decisions just aren’t our strong suit.  Remember Marie Antoinette? She decided it was a good idea to just let the plebes eat cake, and honestly, who can blame her?  Even though we’re the queens (literally in Lady Antoinette’s case) of getting shit done, when it comes to the little things like what we want to eat or what we’re going to wear, we literally can’t make up our minds.

The reason betches are so indecisive is simple really: we don’t settle. Literally, it’s not the decision making that’s hard, it’s having to live with our own decisions afterwards. Betches can go from zero to bossy in no time, and any bro that’s ever seen a betch talk her way into getting free shit knows that assertiveness is not a skill we lack.  Announcing our decision when it’s been decided is like, not hard, but it’ll take us a few tries before we really know what we want.

To the bros that wish we betches would just decide on a place to eat already, we have some bad news. Until the world is perfect, we’re always going to take our time making up our mind.  Look, we know it’s hard for plebes to understand, but because betches are so perfect already, it takes a lot to please us.  Therefore, when you tell us to “hurry up and just decide what you want to eat”, that’s like if someone told you to just put diesel gas in your Maserati. Uh, excuse me?

Being the perfect creatures that we are, every decision is extremely important. Like, we may think we want pad thai, but then we remember that it makes us sluggish and we’re back to the drawing board again. We always want the best possible options, and the best doesn’t always reveal itself right away.  Just like finely aged wines take time to ripen, so do our decisions.

Have you ever hung out with a betch that decided she wanted to go to a bar, changed her mind to a different one, but ended up at a club instead? Even if we get out of the cab and almost make it to the bar, we could still totally reroute ourselves, like if Jess texts saying “I’m at the opening of a new lounge come.”  Bros, while you may have thought… wtf, just make up your mind… have you ever been with a betch that did this and not had fun? Despite our crazy indecisiveness, whatever we end up doing/eating/saying, it’s worth it.


We can’t always make up our minds (I mean, we can never tbh), but it’s only because we want the best case scenarios for ourselves. And for you, if you’re with us. So next time you’re on our case about making a decision, just think about how many wars would have been stopped if a betch had been in charge and stopped to consider all the options.




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