September 11, 2015
As social creatures, betches always have a very booked calendar. Even when we’re on vaca, it seems like we’re just always busy. But we wouldn’t have it any other way, despite complaining how busy we are, we love having shit to do and being unavailable. Once in a while, however, we spend too much time on other people and realize that it’s time for me time.
This can happen when you realize you’re going to the fourth birthday party in a week and you have a brunch the next day plus you agreed to get drinks with your old boss. Like, individually the plans all seemed cool, but all together you’re just not about it.
So you need some alone time. It’s the same reason you start feeling annoyed when a friend overstays their welcome, you just can’t handle the vibes of other people 24/7. This is much easier to accomplish when all your plans involve your friends, because it’s just a matter of telling them, but it’s much more complicated when a significant other is involved.
You can be deeply in love with your boyfriend and even want to marry him (eventually), but once he’s been by your side for over 24 hours, you start to feel trapped. It’s like you have no space to think, because there’s always another person there. It’s okay to need alone time, and the best way to break off from someone is to tell them you’re going to gym and maybe you can meet for dinner after. Then GTFO before he asks if he can come too.
You’re a complex person, and sometimes you just need to be in your own space and chill. Maybe you saw a cool restaurant near your apartment you want to check out, but you just want to eat without it being about the person you’re with. Eating with friends is social, but eating alone is the best when you’re just hungry and don’t want to bullshit.
When you feel especially trapped by all your plans, make a plan to do something alone. Getting your nails done on the way home from work instead of going to drinks, or checking out an exhibit at a museum before you meet your friends at the park, for example. The best way to spend alone time is to plan it before you meet other people, because then they get the best of you, and you’re happy to see them instead of looking for an escape. Plus, for whatever reason that remains a mystery, your hair is always in its best shape when there’s nobody around you to see it. So once you’ve got that me time in, get back in there.
After all, you are the most chill person you know. And that’s because you take care of yourself as an individual.