America is turning 240 this year, which means she's almost an adult. As every teenager going into adulthood knows, how you look is very important. Is July 4 about independence? Sure, probably. But it's also about wearing an American flag tank while eating a hot dog on a rooftop waiting for fireworks. Here's the betchy guide to what to wear to your July 4th BBQ this year.
You are going to see so many American flag bikinis you'll wonder if you ended up in a Lenny Kravitz song. Much like wearing a Union Jack dress is tacky, wearing an American flag bikini is as well. If you're going to the beach, pick two colors out of red, white, and blue—like an all-white bikini and red lipstick—but if you're going to throw a flag on, make it a bandana.
You're going to be indoors so unfortunately you have to wear pants. If you get lucky there might be a pool involved, but you'll probably need cover-ups. Cut-off shorts and a frat tank is as formal as you need to get. America's having a birthday party and she might get sloppy. Go with white cut-offs if you're brave.
You're on a boat so you should wear a dress. Not to be fancy, but because that sea wind is going to to look great rustling through your maxi linen.
Layer up your outfit with linen, denim, and 4th of July shit straight from Pinterest. You'll probably want to wear cowboy boots, since you're not in flip flop territory when you're walking on spilled drinks. And sure why not, throw in a bandana.
Whatever you decide to wear, just remember that July 4 is about looking like you love America, but not like you're an asshole. Flag print is sketchy so avoid it unless the situation calls for it. Linens, gold, and hints of red, white and blue is the way to go.