July 28, 2014
This week’s Betchy Linguistics is more like a Know Your Meme because we’re covering a meme that needs to be in every betch’s repertoire. It’s called “…But That’s None of my Business.”
First, some examples:
So if you couldn’t put it together yourself (it’s okay, not all betches are known for our math skills) “but that’s none of my business” is your go-to for pointing out people’s everyday hypocrisy and/or ridiculousness without looking like you really give a shit.
Even though the above examples were kind of ratchet, you can totally translate these to everyday betch life, with some imagination. Some less ratchet, more betchy (not saying you can’t be both, but...) examples include:
“You said you were too busy to go out last weekend, when we all know you finished an entire season of South Park...but that’s none of my business tho.”
“You have 3000 Instagram followers but only 12 likes…but that’s none of my business.”
“You skipped my bday dinner cause you’re on a ‘diet’ but you had 4 Long Islands last night…but that’s none of my business.”
You’re mad at Kevin for being a SAB when you give out your number like it’s candy on Halloween…but that’s none of my business tho.” (Be sure to spell it "tho" as a symbol of your nonchalance.)
But betches, this isn’t just for the internet. Making a personalized meme every time you wanted to throw shade at someone would take wayyy too much time anyway. You can do it in person, too. You just talk your shit like you normally do, add “but that’s none of my business tho” real sly, and look away and casually sip your drink. You’re aware, but aloof. You don’t take bullshit, but you don't really care that much, either. It’s the perfect move for the casual shit-talker.
Now that you’ve added a new shit-talking method to your arsenal you can get back to bitching about your coworkers, even though you’ve just spent the past few minutes reading this post…but that’s none of my business.