November 9, 2014
We’ve waved goodbye to Halloween – the
best only holiday where hooking up with a bro dressed in a pizza costume is acceptable. Moment of silence.
However, as we begin our descent into all things Christmas/Hanukah/Festivus/Kwanzaa (is that a thing anymore?), we’re left with a lot of colorful orange gourds strewn throughout our dorms and apartments. What’s a betch to do with this shitty seasonal décor? Fire up the fucking oven and make a snack to combat hanger, duh. We added chili powder to ours. Why? Because spicy shit speeds up your metabolism. Now you really CAN lose three pounds.
Use a giant spoon to scoop out all the nastiness inside – seeds included. In a colander, rinse the seeds until you can separate the pulp from them. Throw out the guts pulp and keep the seeds.
Preheat the oven to 300F. Spread out your seeds on an oiled baking sheet and roast for about 30 minutes. This is going to tan your seeds. In the meantime, you can de-festoon your home. Once the seeds are done, take them out of the oven and toss them with the salt, olive oil, and chipotle chili powder. When all the seeds seem sufficiently covered with spices, throw them (not literally GOD KAREN) back on the baking sheet and return to the oven for an additional 20 minutes.
When the seeds are crisp and golden, those bitches are done. These are super low-cal and high in protein so like, if you forget to eat again, these are a greaaaaaaaaaaaat option.