June 5, 2015
Apparently nobody was buying cappuccinos at Starbucks, so now they're playing hard to get and took them off the menu. This is the Starbucks version of "you can walk home bitches." Insiders are speculating that the change might also be because the baristas couldn't perfect the milk to foam to espresso ratio, but if that's the case then they need to reevaluate baristas making lattes because they fuck up the foam all the time. Are they not aware that Mugatu get's bloated with a foamy latte???
Starbucks has made this temporary change to ramp up marketing for the flat white, which wasn't just your nickname in middle school. The flat white is two shots of espresso and foamed whole milk. Thankfully, this doesn't affect the iced skinny vanilla latte or cold brew iced coffee, so betches should be okay..