February 11, 2015
Quick - when you think of the most awful, IQ-lowering place on the internet, what do you imagine? 4Chan? Reddit? YouTube comments? StormFront? The comments on this very website? Nope, sorry, it’s the motherfucking Betty Crocker website: A place where you can get delicious recipes (made with products produced by various General Mills #brands), along with a side of motherly shade.
Exhibit A: An easy enough recipe for Spinach, Ricotta and Sausage Calzones (featuring Green Giant™ frozen spinach). Pretty unobjectionable, right? Wrong.
“This recipe is fine except not what I wanted at all.”
Exhibit B: These No-Bake Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars seem perfect for busy moms (there’s no baking after all), but there’s one problem: Cookie butter...
“What is cookie butter, even? How is it that?”
One non-idiot user stopped short of pasting the “Let me Google that for you” link, but probably assumed she was still being helpful. She was dead fucking wrong. You do NOT call moms out for not being able to use the internet.
“If I wanted sass, I’d stick to the Southern Living comments section.”
Exhibit C: Red Velvet Cookies! Valentine’s day is right around the corner, and they’re the color of love!
“I liked them just fine, but my coworkers didn’t praise me enough. 3 stars.”
There’s so much gloriously inane shit on this website, you could sift through for hours finding more. This is why moms shouldn’t be allowed on the internet.