Beyonce and Nicki Release ***Flawless Remix Performance, We Remain Unimpressed

By Queen Elizabetch

Beyonce released her and Nicki Minaj's performance of the Flawless Remix. Light work. It technically premiered during the HBO broadcast of "On the Run" but if you were too basic to have HBO access here's a list of the best moments from the video.

1. The outfits. Beyonce is in her new uniform: custom designed long sleeved leotard. It's cute in the way infinity scarves are cute: a safe staple. Her headpiece is some World War I General realness. Soo vintage. Nicki on the other hand is serving body in the jumpsuit to end all jumpsuits.

2. They start the performance by only having one facing the audience, as if they understand that the audience needs to adjust to the amount of talent on stage. It's considerate in the most condescending way possible.

3. Beyonce and Nicki make their back up dancers look like more obese versions of Serena Williams. Seriously, the hit to their self esteems must be lower than their collective IQs.

4. Beyonce lip syncs all of Nicki's rap. She's basically saying "I could do all of this by myself. You perform because I allow you to." But seriously, imagine Beyonce rapping. It would single handedly crash the Internet for the next ten years. Beyonce rapping would have to biologically mean she could impregnate herself aka no reason for Jay-Z to exist.

5. This is probs the world's worst remix. Nicki adds maybe 0.001% of an improvement to the song. It's such a blatant celebrity ploy to get media attention. OMG Beyonce did something purely for attention, something new and different (see: 2014 VMA's, 2013 Superbowl, 2012 pregnancy announcement).




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