Beyoncé Gives Birth To Twins | Betches

Beyoncé Had Her Twins & Here's What Their Names Should Be

By now, you’ve no doubt heard that Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter, our holy lord and savior, gave birth to her twins. We’re not saying we’re excited about these babies, but we also did not sleep this weekend so whatever. Of course, Beyoncé is one of those classy celebs who waits to tell the world about her kids, so we don’t know what names she picked yet, or even what sex the babies are. Because of this, we decided to take matters into our own hands and suggest some name pairings. Sure, we don’t know if the babies are girls or boys, but isn’t gender like, a social construct anyway?

1. Crabtree & Evelyn: Yeah, this is a store in the mall, but don’t you want your babies to smell like delicious scented candles and perfumes? These names also sound like they could be classy British people from the 1800s, so what’s not to like.

2. Katy & Taylor: Pop music’s most iconic feud in ages deserves to be commemorated in these two little angels. Their namesakes would inspire them to be relentlessly competitive in their pursuit of success, and that sounds like something Bey would encourage.

Taylor Swift

3. Zack & Cody: No child is too good for Disney Channel. These names might seem cheesy, but Beyoncé could start a new trend of reimagining children’s shows and making them #hip. We would also accept Phineas & Ferb or Sharpay & Ryan.

4. Cain & Abel: Bey and Jay are a spiritual couple, so why not go with a throwback and name your babies after the famous brothers from the Bible? Yeah, one of them murdered the other, but we never really went to church or temple or anything so we can’t remember which. YOLO.

5. North & Saint: Anything Kim can do, Bey can do better. This would never happen, but the drama on KUWTK would be absolutely legendary. Jay and Kanye aren’t as close as they used to be, and this would definitely be the final nail in the coffin.

Kim Kardashian

6. Neiman & Marcus: These babies will live a life of luxury, so why not name them after the store where most of their clothes will probably come from? Besides, Saks just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

7. Kelly & Michelle: By naming her little miracles after her Destiny’s Child backup singers sisters, Bey would be able to constantly remind them that she’s the star of the family. You’re never too young to be put in your place.

8. Ron & Hermione: Everyone likes Harry Potter, right?

Ron And Hermione

9. Barack & Michelle: It just feels right. ILY Barack, please come back and save us from this mess.

10. Beyoncé & Sasha: This world needs a Beyoncé Jr., and the other twin could serve as a reminder of Bey’s legendary alter ego. Sasha would obviously be the crazy child, aka the cooler one.




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