January 22, 2015
Yes, the Patriots are on to the Superbowl. Whoop-dee-doo. But even that is already old news. In true NFL fashion, the season must begin and end on a dramatic note that I will dare compare to the female equivalent: The Bachelor finale. *Gasp* Tom Brady has already been featured as an outstanding Betchy Athlete here, but now we turn our eyes onto the Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, who hasn’t just recently, but always been pretty damn betchy.
Initial reports and further investigation by the NFL these past few days have showed that 11 of the 12 footballs used by the New England Patriots during their win over the Colts on Sunday were under-inflated to an illegal degree, presumably giving Tom Brady and the Patriots a large advantage during the game. I’m not going into the details and the debate whether they would have won otherwise, if this is really illegal, and the other bullshit because this is Betches not ESPN. Regardless, Bill and his team have been caught red handed with their hand in the cookie jar, or their fingers on the deflation valve. But for Bad Boy Bill, this isn’t the first time he has gone astray from the NFL rules to give his team an advantage. In 2007 the New England Patriots and Bill Belichick were caught in the “Spygate” scandal in which they illegal videotaped other teams in an effort to gain a competitive advantage. Belichick got a $500,000 fine and lost a draft choice, but it just so happened that the evidence was destroyed by the NFL. *Pics or it didn’t happen* Bill will totally agree: If you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying.
Besides being above the rules and doing whatever he wants, Bill is known for his IDGAF attitude off the field. When being interviewed in formal press conferences with some of the biggest names in media, Bill ditches the suit and opts to wear an oversized sweatshirt with cutoff sleeves, shorts, and dad sneakers. TFTC. Bill rarely gives full answers to questions and during this past season he was only shown to smile seven times during these press conferences. Good for you Bill - you’re the King of the RBF and a perfect combination of grumpy and frumpy. Finally, in true athlete fashion, he has already been married and divorced once. He now has a SMOKE girlfriend Linda Holliday, with a knack for social media showing a softer side of Billy. With three Super Bowl championships under his belt, a reputation as one of the best in the league, and a paycheck of over seven million a year - Bill Belichick is a respected betch in my book.