Blondies—They Really Do Have More Fun

By Betchy Crocker

We’re talking about pastries, if you’re slow. On occasion, we put on our sweatpants and snuggle into the couch with a snack—be it an ungodly amount of chips and salsa (the limit does not exist) or some sort of baked treat. We’re going with the latter today, focusing on the whiter cousin of brownies: blondies.

Not familiar? Bless. Think of all the good (cough bad for you) things in one delicious treat. Would you feel guilty about eating it? Yes, but carpe fucking diem.


  • 14 tbsp (1 3/4 sticks) unsalted butter, cut into large pieces. YES REALLY JUST ACCEPT YOUR DIA-BEET-US
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 1/4 tsp baking powder
  • 3/4 tsp fine salt
  • 1 1/4 cups packed dark brown sugar
  • 2 large eggs, at room temperature
  • 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 cups raw whole pecans (or walnuts or peanuts IDFC WHATEVER YOU WANT), toasted and coarsely chopped—toast these bitches without burning, plz
  • 1 cup chocolate chips, if you must

Got all that artery-clogging shit? Good. Heat your oven to 350F and put one of the racks in the middle. Meanwhile, line a 13x9 baking dish with foil and set that shit aside. 

Melt the butter in a big-ass frying pan over medium-low heat; swirl it around and cook, scraping the sides with a rubber spatula, until the butter turns amber, smells nutty (LOL), and the solids are browned. That should take about 10 mins—also don’t let it splatter on you cause it really fucking hurts.

As soon as that shit is browned, IMMEDIATELY transfer it to a big heatproof bowl, making sure you got all that buttery solid goodness out of the pan. Set aside and let cool. While that does its thang, in a different bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt.

Add the brown sugar to the browned butter and stir all that brown goodness till combined. Add the eggs and vanilla and whisk. Then CAREFULLY fold in the flour mixture until just combined—don’t over-mix or it’ll be gross. Fold in the pecans and chocolate chips if using, then scrap the wholeeeee mess into the foiled baking dish. Smooth it out so it’s even and shit.

Bake until the edges start to brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, aka 20-30 mins later. Remove and let sit for like 30 mins or till cool. Cut, slice, and serve those bitches. Try not to eat the whole pan.




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