May 7, 2015
Now that you’re a grown betch, chances are your going out look is a bit more sophisticated, but we’ll never forget our first dress-up tool: body glitter. Behind every school dance outfit was tons of body glitter, and we used it more liberally than the American Revolution.
Even before we grew boobs, we knew that a touch* (*way too much) of glitter on our chest could make boys look down there, creating the illusion that we had cleavage in our flat spaghetti straps.
Body glitter was the loophole to wearing makeup for those parents that didn’t let you wear makeup in middle school. It didn’t matter that it made you look like a child prostitute, it came in a roll on tube that looked like it belonged in an art cubby, and therefore your parents were cool with it. Sure, eyeshadow and lipstick were too adult, but body glitter was just kids playing around, despite the fact that we’d roll it on our stomachs for more attention than we probably should have been asking for.
The best kinds of body glitter came scented, and also doubled as “perfume” that we also weren’t allowed to wear. The number one shop to get your glitter was Claire’s, obvs.
Glitter could go anywhere, but more strategic places include your chest, the side of your face by your eyes, your arm (like an tattoo sleeve but glitter), your back, and your stomach, if you were wearing a crop top. Points if you happened to be wearing sparkling denim at the same time, because everyone knew that the more glitter you had on, the more popular you were.
Eventually we gave up body glitter (but like, come to think of it, why?) except for special occasions like Halloween and EDC, when our sparkly past selves come out of hiding once again. Here’s to body glitter, our best friend at sixth grade dances and the reason we got our first hickey at mini-golf from Daniel. TBT.