May 29, 2014
“Normal people” tend to form friendships over shared likes and interests. This isn’t true for betches. Due to the fact that we’re not naturally the most positive people, and that a lot of our interests aren’t exactly unique, OMG. You love diet coke? So do I! we’re sometimes forced to take a different approach to making friends. We do this through the Mutual Hate Bond.
Believe it or not, bonding over hating the same THING can occasionally lead to a like, legitimate friendship. Like, how freshman year you first bonded with your sorority BFF over how much you despised chapter, and how you both found your sorority rituals to be "creepy." Let's all wear white and sing! Nothing weird here.
Bonding over hating the same PERSON, on other hand, is very different. For example, when you and another betch bond over how you both used to hook up with Kyle but now think he’s a total scumbag. At first, this seems like the best friendship ever. So much more room for complaining! You two have sooo much to talk/ bitch about until all of a sudden you…well…don’t.
Betch 1: God, Kyle is SUCH a dick
Betch 2: I know right!
The thing is, bonding over hating someone requires a certain level of giving a fuck and energy...energy we could use for other things like recovering from our hangovers and actually making it to the gym everyday. This friendship is also based around the idea that both people will continue to hate that person. So if you drunkenly hook up with Kyle and then decide you find his shadiness endearing, BAM. Friendship over.
On a similar note, two people can also bond over their mutual hatred of you. If anything, this is just a sign of how much you’re winning. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. It's not. It's total, obsessive hatred. It's not my fault you’re so obsessed with me