February 17, 2012
This week's Betch of the Week needs no introduction. She is large and in fucking charge. And since she absolutely killed it at the Grammy's this week you should've been able to see this coming a mile away. Sorry, SORRY we had to get the fat jokes out of the way.
So anyway, even though Adele's music is basically written for nice girls to cry and binge while simultaneously waiting for a bro to respond to their triple texts, every betch can appreciate Adele's sick voice. And hey, even Someone Like You isn't THAT depressing if you mix it to a house beat and take some molly.
To be fair, Adele is well aware of her weight situation and she owns it completely. I mean, if you have to be fat, it's good to at least know about it. Former fatty Karl Lagerfeld told Metro "The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice." But like a true betch not giving a shit about what anyone says about her, she merely shrugged it off and let her gay BFF Anderson Cooper talk shit about Lagerfeld for her. Fanks Andy!
Like the honey badger, Adele just don't give a fuck. She says, "Even if I had a really good figure, I don't think I'd get my tits and ass out for no one." Although it seems she may have been living under a rock where the media doesn't absolutely hate on fat people because she's like, very surprised at the focus on her appearance. She says "I've always been a size 14 to 16, I don't care about clothes, I'd rather spend my money on cigarettes and booze." We hear you on that last part 'Dellie.
Regardless of all this she clearly possesses the most important betch quality of all: confidence and like, a really pretty face. AND she's still on the March issue of Vogue.
So congrats to Adele on this additional honor that's obviously way less significant than your 6 Grammy's but that's okay, because we think our approval is way harder to come by. Even Beyonce has named her as an influence which is weird considering we hadn't even heard of Adele before 2010. This Brit has seriously proved to us that it's possible to overcome obstacles like weight and a povo cockney accent and STILL go by only your first name.