Dear Betch, My Boyfriend Has Too Many Female Friends

Dear Betch,

I've been hooking up with this guy very seriously for like 2.3 months now (like, we're exclusive but not putting any labels out there yet). He's pretty perfect except for the fact that he has aprox. 1000 girl friends (not girlfriends but friends who are girls). He's on the soccer team at our college so he's constantly with these bitches on the Women's soccer team who like, idk, run half marathons for fun and watch She's the Man before bed every night. Not only are they lowkey pretty (ugh they're hot lets admit it), but aren't athletic guys attracted to athletic girls? He was the one who wanted to be exclusive so I'm not getting vibes that he's trying particularly hard to get with these girls. Naturally I'm insanely jealous but pretend I don't give them a second thought. But is it obnoxious of me to admit that I hate all his friends that are girls? Is it too much to ask for him to stop snapchatting them/texting them?


Jealous NARP

(NARP=Non Athletic Regular Person; dumb college slang that you probs already knew)

Dear sister wife,

I have good news and I have bad news. The good: While it's a pain in the ass now, the fact that this guy has a lot of girl friends is actually a positive thing. It means that, generally, he's not a total piece of shit. The bad: There is no way for you to broach this topic with him without coming off crazy insecure. Girls with raging insecurities typically have a hard time keeping a boyfriend longer than 2.3 months, so it is vital that you don't reveal this side of you—yet.

Dating a guy with a lot of girl friends is a hurdle that we all have to overcome at some point in our lives. Yes, it's obnoxious that his Snapchat is constantly blowing up and yeah, his Instagram tags are verging on sorority status, but technically none of these are real cause for alarm. The harsh reality of it is this: He has 100% drunkenly made out with at least two of them. Accept this now or you'll never have peace of mind again. In spite of that slight hiccup, there are a couple things to keep in mind here.

If he wanted to be dating one of these soccer models, he would be. As much as we like to pretend otherwise, men are not complex. Your relationship is not a cog in some long-winded plot to win one of them over. This isn't fucking Gossip Girl. You said he initiated the exclusivity, so trust that he actually meant it. I don't know about you, but I don't know a whole lot of guys who decide to tie themselves down when they could be hooking up with hot athletes.

Without some legit probable cause, you absolutely cannot bring this up to him without making things weird. He's not going to react well, which will only fuel your suspicions and resentment, which will in turn slowly convince him that you're silently planning your Gone Girl-style revenge. Avoid this at all costs.

My advice would be to befriend these girls and then use your newfound status to solidify your relationship. Them liking you will speak volumes to him and now you have another source for inside info. Keep your friends close and your potential competition closer, but for the love of God, do not succumb to soccer.

She's the Man is a national treasure,

The Betches




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