Is It Normal If My Boyfriend Has Porn Saved On His Phone? Ask A Pro | Betches

Is It Normal If My Boyfriend Has Porn Saved On His Phone? Ask A Pro

By The Head Pro

Dear Head Pro,


Is it normal for dudes to have photos of graphic images - porn screenshots, not significant other vids or sexts -  on their iPhones? I mean I know guys watch porn and all, but the phone pics seem like overkill...

Sincerely,

Jw if he's a satyromaniac?

Dear Needlessly Pretentious Word-User,

Well, no, it’s not exactly “normal” or common, but I don’t think he’s doing anything weird or dangerous. He’s keeping porn pics on his phone for the same reasons the “save” icon is still a 3.5” floppy disk and the “answer call” button on your phone still looks like a handset: Familiarity. Even though we have little to no use for floppy disks, landline phones or static smut photos, most adults alive today remember a time when we did. It’s comforting, not unlike the way masturbating to images of sex is comforting.

I remember, fondly, harriedly downloading smutty images over a 56k modem (Geri Halliwell aka Ginger Spice, who did some tasteful nude photos in her past, was a favorite subject of mine). What did I do once they downloaded, sit there and fap? Hell the fuck no, you never knew when mom or dad was going to come home, and it wasn’t like I could save them in a desktop folder labeled “OMG Mom Please Don’t Open This, OK?” So, I printed them. I printed a bunch of nudie Spice Girl pics and saved them to use at my leisure. Boy, the late 90s were fun.

Old habits die hard. Even though we can now stream endless pornography without physically downloading a single kb, everyone has their own quirks and customs with no real reason to alter them. I’m still more likely to download what I want and use it later than I am to sit in front of PornHub. Your boyfriend, apparently, prefers to pre-load his phone with dirty pics for use during his office bathroom breaks. Is it particularly smart to do so on a phone like that? No, for obvious reasons showcased in your email, but to each their own.

So ends your periodic reminder that you almost never, ever want to be privy to your boyfriends fapping habits,

Head Pro

Dearest Head Pro:

So this one's a bit ridiculous, but bear with me. I grew up pretty religious (but I'm not anymore) and internalized all these ideas about my virginity being a prize, sex waiting until marriage and most shit-illy, that women aren't supposed to want or enjoy sex, let alone admit to wanting/enjoying it. Anyways, I started dating a guy who is also pretty religious and though we did have sex, he was super weirded out by the fact that I was into it and would tell me how I wasn't supposed to have a higher sex drive because he's the man (like, get over yourself)

So I realized that he was an asshole and we broke up. I'm definitely over him, and surrounded by cute, bearded, slightly dorky guys who are like catnip to me, I swear. But I have no idea how to approach sex in a way that’s healthy and guilt-free, and still feel like I'm not supposed to want it, even though lets be real, I totally do. So I guess the question is, how do I get the fuck over this guilt and mental block?

Much love,

Carol/Cheryl

Dear Lana… Lana…. LANAAAAAA,

Woof. Point blank? You need to see a therapist of some kind. That’s probably your best bet for sorting out your issues, and far more helpful than an anonymous internet advice person could ever be. While you can look at your willingness to say “I want sex, and I enjoy it, I really do” as a positive thing, the fact that you can make that declaration in writing but still not walk the walk is probably a sign that you need the help of a qualified professional to get you over the hump. Still, the fact that you’re asking “how do I live this way?” versus “is it ok that I feel this way?” is an undeniably good start.

You recognized the toxicity of your previous relationship, which is also good. I would think that something else you could do on your own would be to start surrounding yourself with the kind of people who espouse the beliefs and attitudes that you’re struggling to express yourself. Human beings are incredibly tribe-minded people, and it doesn’t take being around a group very long before you start not only parroting the group’s values, but really believing them. When it goes wrong, that’s how otherwise intelligent people wind up in cults. When it goes well, as it should in your case, you can slowly begin to climb from beneath the metric tons of ass-backwards, pseudo-religious bullshit you’ve been buried under.

As you work through it, take heart: Most guys would be thrilled, THRILLED to date a woman with a healthy, robust sex drive. Also, despite how it might appear from the inside looking out, the vast majority of people today do not share those anachronistic beliefs about sex and sexuality. Finding normal, good-hearted people who don’t base their own self-worth on someone else’s libido will be much, much easier than you think.

This is how we get ants,

Head Pro

Need more douchey advice? Email [email protected] with your idiotic problems. Oh, and follow him on Twitter.




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LET IT OUT, HONEY

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