Start The Day The Right Way With Breakfast Nachos

By Betchy Crocker

Usually, nachos and similarly shameful meals stay behind closed doors, along with our sweatpants, retainers, and no makeup movement. But, because breakfast nachos have recently been deemed a thing, we figured we’d hop on that bandwagon and celebrate topping our tortilla chips with some fucking awesome breakfast food with a Mexi twist. We adapted this recipe from but like we changed it cause they didn’t have anywhere near enough toppings and like too many chips like c’mon guys I’m watching my figure.


  • 3 cups of your fav tortilla chips—but honestly, use as many as you fucking want—it’s your waistline
  • ½ cup cheddar cheese
  • ½ cup shredded habanero cheese—if you can’t find it or are a huge pussy, use pepperjack
  • 2/3 cup pinto or black beans, drained and rinsed
  • 3 eggs
  • ¼ cup milk
  • Salt and pepper
  • 1 tbsp Tabasco or like, your fav hot sauce
  • ½ cup diced fresh tomatoes
  • 2/3 cup diced red and green peppers
  • 2 tbsps fresh cilantro
  • 1 avocado
  • 2 tbsps diced fresh jalapenos
  • Salsa for serving

Preheat your oven to a low broil. Then grab an oven-proof skillet (we used a classic cast iron one), place like, half of the chips in and sprinkle with half the cheese (so, math wizards, that’d be ¼ cup of each) and half the beans (that’d be 1/3 of a cup of the beans, dipshits). Put that shit aside.

Grab a giant bowl and whisk together the eggs, milk, salt, pepper, and Tabasco. Grab a nonstick skillet and heat it over medium—once it’s hot, add the egg mixture. Let that shit sit and don’t fucking touch it for like 2-3 mins (stalk some Insta photos or whatever). Once the edges start to set, use a rubber spatula to push around the eggs. Cook until all the eggs are set, then take that shit off the stove and set aside.

OK NOW THE FUN SHIT. Put your cast iron skillet with the chips, beans, and cheese in it in the oven and cook it until the cheese is melty. Take the pan out, put half the eggs over top, then add on the rest of your chips. Top with the rest of the eggs, the beans, the cheese, the tomatoes, and the peppers and put that shit in the oven again FINAL TIME I SWEAR until all that shit is bubbly and delicious. Get that shit out, throw on your avocado, cilantro, jalapeños, and salsa and feast. What a fucking nutritious breakfast ... like, it has all the food groups!




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