June 24, 2015
Britney Spears and her teddy bear of a boyfriend Charlie Ebersol have called it quits. After eight months of dating, they just didn't have time, which is a nice way of saying that the sex was boring as shit. I love Britney more than anything, but it feels like this is about the 30th long-term boyfriend she's had since getting divorced from K-Fed. I was going to say maybe next time she'll get lucky, but then I realized that Betches are obviously too good for a Britney Spears pun. Let's hope she finds someone though, those kids need a father figure that's not Kevin Federline.