June 19, 2012
Between his thrice daily sun salutations and the stress of tweeting from his own twitter account, apparently it's been a taxing week for Alec Baldwin. It's clear this little bridezilla's pre-wedding hunger pains are driving him into serious rages of like, Alec Baldwin proportions.
But seriously, who cares if he hit a photographer who hit him first? To hell with these people, two wrongs definitely make a right and like, what do you think hurts more, a massive paparazzi camera or Alec Baldwin's chuck-norris-esque fist?
So to all the haters, fuck you. In honor of him pissing off the general population, here's why betches love AB.
10. It's a nice change of pace to see a celebrity whose breakdowns are not the result of cocaine/meth/heroin/crack, AB's just high on ashtanga.
9. We pretend to love the #47 environment, he actually does.
8. He wouldn't use that single miles credit card. What's in your wallet?
7. His life imitates his art. Remember a while back, when shit was complicated with his kids and a blonde ex-wife? And then he replaced them with a younger, hotter brunette wife? Such a hilaria coincidence.
6. He's the fucking boss of Tina Fey on 30 Rock, a position he doesn't take advantage of enough, because if we were in his shoes we'd give her the silent treatment unless she's speaking in Mean Girls...yes it's a language, get with it.
5. He has the most SAG awards of any actor, which is another way of saying he's the most popular girl in hollywood.
4. His schweddy balls.
3. So what if he wants to hit a triple word score before takeoff? Pretty sure I've never ever turned my phone off during a flight yet here I am, neither dead nor a Lost extra. Namaste motherfuckers.
2. He feels really lucky to be here with all of you in Event Room C...It makes him think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat...
1. I mean, he's kind of a Baldwin....