Broccoli Cheese Bites: Because Snacks

By Betchy Crocker

It’s happening – you’re drunk and hunting for food, again. Instead of ordering a pizza full of four different kinds of animal meat like you did last time, why not get ahead of the whole drunk hunger thing and have something healthy and satisfying on hand?

Broccoli and cheese are a match made in heaven – much like Spencer and Heidi before they got weird, or Kanye and Kim. They’re stylish, healthy, and better than you’ll ever be.

Regardless, you should make a shit ton of these and just like, heat them up when you’re drunk.


  • 16 oz. chopped broccoli (you can use fresh or defrosted/thawed frozen)
  • 3 large eggs
  • 1 ½ cups shredded cheddar cheese
  • 1 cup Italian style breadcrumbs (if you only have original or regular, add some Parmesan, Italian seasoning, salt and pepper)

Preheat oven to 375F. Mix all the ingredients together in a large bowl until everything is pretty well combined. With your hands, form small patties and lay on a greased baking sheet. Bake for 20 minutes, turning the patties over after the first 10-15 minutes. Remove and enjoy.

Literally, that’s all you do. You could even make these WHILE you’re drunk (I have) and they’ll still turn out great. Fun fact – for like, 5 of these, it’s only about 214 calories. That means that one of these is only like 43 calories. This absolutely makes up for the absurd amount of booze you just drank.




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