July 8, 2014
Every betch who had any shred of popularity in the 11th grade knew that in order to have validity in this world, you had to be up-to-date on the most recent episode of “The Hills,” a show which featured four fabulous 20 year old girls who had dream jobs, nice cars, and a lot of ugly crying. That being said, it didn’t take a fucking rocket scientist to figure out that the whole thing was staged.
Last week, Brody Jenner, who is famous for being Kimye’s stepbrother and… that’s pretty much it, gave an interview about his time spent on The Hills, which was like 8 years ago. In the words of Adele Dazeem, let it go. Jenner’s role basically was being the nice guy side-kick to super-villian Spencer Pratt. The only thing of value he did in the show besides “date” LC for three episodes, was constantly judge the shit out of Justin Bobby.
Anyways, he claimed that his relationship with Laguna Beach OG, Lauren Conrad, was faker then his dad’s nose. Yes, you read that right: his relationship with LC was totally a lie. Even though Brody Jenner still thinks he is relevant and that it’s some breaking news or something, no one was fucking shocked. Poor Brody, he’s a little late to the game. He must have forgotten the past decade where basically everyone, including the MTV network, admitted that the show was fake. And none for Brody Jenner, bye.
What’s more disturbing is that this shocking revelation was featured on Huffington Post, The New York Daily and a bunch of other big newspapers. Isn’t there like something in Iraq you should talk about? Even I’m questioning your priorities. MTV.com even featured an article titled “Did Brody Jenner and Lauren Conrad date, or not?” I DON’T KNOW MTV, YOU PRODUCED IT. YOU TELL ME. It’s amazing how you can be fake about something you openly acknowledged as fake. I mean, you released the fucking ALTERNATE ENDING. This is the real meaning of inception.
I’m sure Heidi Montag, who has the IQ of her shoe size, is very puzzled by this revelation. I’m not even entirely sure that she knows that show ended.