Burning Man Might Sue Quiznos for Talking Shit

By Sabrina the Teenage Betch

Burning Man, a place you’ve probably either had a weird experience at or never heard of, may be suing Quiznos, a place you’ve probably either had a weird experience at or never heard of. The sandwich chain recently released a fake movie trailer mocking the annual event, part of a series of parody ads preceded by spoofs on Entourage and House of Cards. Burning Man officials are taking the two minute clip very seriously however, as they believe it to be an infringement on their intellectual property. They’re also really, really hungover right now.

Quiznos paired up with 20th Century Fox to create the ad, which now has over a million views on YouTube. It’s based on characters from the new Maze Runner movie The Scorch Trials, who attend Burning Man for a counterculture experience, only to be disappointed by subtle influences of consumerism in the form of, wait for it...Quiznos ads. They also realize in horror that the festival has “become a place for rich people to check off their bucket list.” Betches everywhere are eagerly awaiting the rest of that bucket list so we can plan out 2016.

Naturally, Burning Man did not receive the parody well and a spokesperson says that they were never contacted prior to its release. They’ve also all been tripping on acid for the past week, so this and other details of the story have yet to be confirmed.






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