Is it Bullshit When Guys Say They Can't Finish With a Condom? Ask a Pro

By The Betches

Dear Head Pro,

Are guys lying when they tell girls that they cannot finish when wearing a condom? Is this true for some bros or is it another way of guys asking to have sex without protection?

Bare Betch

Honestly, it’s both. Depending on your state of inebriation, the odds of being able to finish with a condom on are slim to none. That said, being unable to finish shouldn’t stop you from fucking if you think you can still get some good wood on the ball, so for some guys it’s definitely a copout.  Your best bet is to stick to your guns and be firm on your condom policy with every single guy you sleep with, regardless of his excuse. If they complain or are embarrassed about not being able to finish, tell them you don’t mind. Because really, why would you?

Hey Head Pro,

I've been friends with this bro all year (I once was delusional enough to think my guy friends were all just friends but you and the betches have corrected that misconception) and recently he kissed me and we hooked up--I did not sleep with him. I've had a long year of hook ups and on-and-off things and now I'm ready for a relationship...and I think I might want it to be this guy. How do I communicate that without seeming desperate or pathetic? I'm not used to being the one who wants more and I've perfected appearing like I don't give a shit. How do I approach this guy now that I do?


-Now What?

The fact that you say you “want a relationship” and that you “might want it to be this guy” tells me you’re not ready for it. Life doesn’t work that way. You don’t decide you want a boyfriend and then go about finding one. You meet someone you like, and THEN decide you’d like to make him your boyfriend. I guess you could try using your friend network to communicate that you’re down for something steady, but beyond that I don’t know if I can help you.


Dear Head Pro,

I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now and everything is great and what not, but he has recently put on a lot of weight. It's not even just me that notices either, many other people have told me that he has gained weight.  I'd love him at any size, but like come on. Just because we are dating doesn't mean he has to stop working out and trying to impress me. How do I nicely tell him that he should start working out more? I know this all sounds horrible and cruel, but it just makes me feel like he doesn't care anymore. Should I ignore this issue or bring it up and possibly embarrass him and ruin our relationship? Help!

Needy Betch

Ah, this again. There’s exactly one way to handle this, and that’s to set an example and try to involve him in your own healthy lifestyle. If you’re eating some quinoa or kale chips or whatever the fuck, offer to make him some before he orders another chicken parm sub. If you’re going to the gym, ask if he’ll come with you and “show you how to lift,” even if you know how. This is pretty important, because he could definitely reach a size where it would become very difficult to love him.

Head Pro,

What's your opinion on stoner betches?

-Stoner betch down for a make out with Head Pro

Eh, depends on how you define “stoner betch.” Personally, I could never really get into weed that much, but that doesn’t mean I care if other people enjoy it. If you mean stoner in the sense that it takes up a big part of your free time and you don’t like doing things not high, then no, I don’t think many bros would be into that. After a certain age, spending every spare moment catching a buzz starts to seem really juvenile.




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