December 3, 2014
Karl Lagerfeld directed a 7 minute movie for Chanel starring Pharrell (sans Arby's hat) and former Betch of the Week Cara Delevingne. If you haven't heard about it, you've been living under an Instagram-less rock because they've been fucking advertising it like a Harry Potter movie for the past month.
So Cara and Pharrell are Austrian peasants working in a hotel where Coco Chanel is staying - the first plot hole but whatevs. The movie begins with Cara in a coked out rage, as she runs around the dining room and tries to trip the only hot bro in the entire video. Pharrell is an elevator operator and his cheek bones rival Olivier Rousteing.
Pharrell then has a dream that he and Cara are the Austrian royalty painted in these enormous portraits. He sings this weird fucking song that is basically spoken word poetry set to music. Like it might be worse than Happy - never thought I'd say that. Cara decides to start lip syncing, and whoever did the audio track has a phenomenal voice. However, the choreography is worse than at your debutante ball (step ball change and spin). In terms of musicals, this is kind of like a small liberal arts school's version of The Sound Of Music.
Pharrell wakes up and Coco Chanel asks him where his jacket (uniform) is from. His response is another questionable plot device, "They only made it for me." Ummmm you're a fucking minimum wage employee in Austria, I saw the Grand Budapest Hotel and I'm pretty sure they bought that uniform in bulk. Chanel then proclaims "Well I'm going to make one for me" with this really nice hand gesturing. I guess the video is explaining the fall of Chanel in the 1950's.
The score of classical music is gorgeous, and visually the video is breathtakingly stunning. Cara's eyebrows are on fleek (like you even had to ask) and Pharrell doesn't ruin the video. Karl Lagerfeld did a good job directing, and is trying to make a joke. Pharrell is wearing the classic Chanel jacket, but Lagerfeld's movie makes it look like she got the idea from an elevator boy in Austria who wants to hook up with Cara Delevingne. It's funny in the way that you say "oh that's funny" when it's not actually funny enough to make you laugh.