Obetchuary: Carrie Fisher

By Miss Ameribetch

We almost made it through 2016 without another celebrity death, but this year has been a real fuckboy playing mind games with us. Yesterday we lost Carrie Fisher, one of the most iconic female actresses of our time. There couldn’t be a worst time to say goodbye to Carrie Fisher, but sometimes the lights come on before we’re ready to go home and we have no choice but to leave.

Carrie Fisher was a betch in the truest sense. She was born to famous parents, became famous by dressing slutty as Princess Leia, and then proved she was more than that by #winning at everything she did from script writing to roasting other celebrities.

Carrie was born to parents Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher, but having rich and famous parents didn’t stop her from making her own career in Hollywood. When we were trying to figure out what we would wear to all the proms we were asked to at sixteen, she was acting in her first role on Broadway. Then, obviously, she took on the iconic Princess Leia role and shot up to even more stardom. I mean, Star Wars may have been mostly for geeks in our second grade class, but Leia was the redeeming factor loved by all. Like we didn’t care about light sabers and robots, but we all begged our moms to do our hair like Leia’s buns at some point in our lives.

Princess Leia

So maybe Carrie Fisher was known for her slutty Leia costume at first, but we totally commend her for that. There’s nothing betchier than dressing like a slut and still being better than everyone else. Leia was not only a princess, but also a fighter and everyone knew better than to mess with her. I mean, sure, she danced around for Jabba the Hutt in a slave girl bikini outfit, but she killed him and got her revenge, and revenge is betchy.

In a less glamorous but also betchy turn in her life, Carrie had to deal with having anxiety and wrote about her struggle with bipolar disorder. She paved the way for Hollywood to discuss mental health, and if we had a dime for every $200 we spent on therapy, then we’d have enough to pay for another session of therapy, at least. The point is, she made it easier for us to go to therapy to talk about ourselves.

Carrie Fisher

She wrote the book Postcards from the Edge about her life dealing with substance abuse and bipolar disorder, and then Meryl Streep played her in the movie version of the book. I mean, everyone says they want Meryl Streep to play them in a movie but Carrie Fisher actually lived it.

She also fixed scripts for other movies like Sister Act, Last Action Hero, The Wedding Singer, Hook, and Coyote Ugly. Like, there was literally nothing she couldn’t do. Carrie Fisher was like the friend you ask for text advice before you send a text, but instead of a text she was rewriting Hollywood's scripts.

And, just like a true betch, Carrie Fisher had an emotional support dog named Gary.

Carrie Fisher's Dog Gary

Basically, Carrie Fisher was as cool in real life as she was on screen, and we know the force is with her, but we can’t help but wish she was still around. So here’s to Carrie Fisher, a betch who didn’t GAF and confronted her demons for all of Hollywood to see, who kept it 100 by being a #bossbitch, and who reminded us that if you dress slutty and are witty, you always win.

May The Force Be With You




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