The Betches' Official Celebrity Halloween Costume Breakdown

By Jane Duh

So, by know everyone on earth has had the image of Heidi Klum's Jessica Rabbit costume burned into their brains forever, but did you know that other celebrities ALSO celebrated Halloween? You may not have noticed (because you stared at Heidi's for so long that now you are blind), but other celebs turned up for Halloween 2015 and used their wealth and power to do what celebs do best: make what you're wearing look like shit compared to them.

Here are some of the best, and the worst: 

The Best


Keke Palmer as Aliyah 

Keke Palmer was Aaliyah and all we can say is yaaaaaaaaaaasssssss. So good. No words. Literally perfect. 



Nicki Minaj honored the betch code this Halloween by flaunting her shit in this hot AF fairy Princess costume. Of all these celeb costumes, this is both the closest and the furthest from something an actual person would wear. The closest because it is functional, sexy, good for dancing, and is ultimately just an excuse to dress up as your ideal version of yourself. It's the farthest from something you could actually wear because, since it's Nicki, this outfit probably cost a million dollars.

Anyway, hats off to Nic for making betches everywhere proud (as always).  


Neil Patrick Harris (and fam) as Stars War People

So I don't give a fuck about Star Wars, obviously. I don't know who the people in this picture are. I know the girl is Princess Leia because there is only one girl in Star Wars and her name is Princess Leia. Other than that I have no fucking clue.

That being said, NPH and co. could literally dress up as anything and I would think it was cute. Seriously. They could dress up as a bunch of rats living in trash and I would be like, "squad goals!"

But also maybe next year be like, Taylor Swift's girl gang or something else that everybody cares about. 


Katy Perry as Dropped Mic

I think by now we all know what type of Halloween Betch Katy Perry is. She's one of those girls who always shows up to Halloween pregames in some insane, enormous costume which she gets like 15 minutes of good, solid attention for and then everyone is over it and now she's in some huge ass costume that's taking up a lot of valuable shot-taking space. Some of you may remember last year when managed to actually look really pretty while dressed up as a Flaming Hot Cheeto. 

Well, this year Miss Perry did not disappoint by once again choosing a costume that looks cool but is probably a fucking nightmare to party in. She announced her 2015 look by posting this video to instagram

She's a dropped mic! Get it?! This is cool. This video is funny. But I stick by my opinion that it looks like a pain in the ass to wear around. 


Lebron James went as a 6'8" 240 pound version of Prince and gave all of us new life.

Okay so now that I've seen Trainwreck and I've seen this costume I can't help but think, is Lebron James like, funny? It seems like he might be funny, which I guess is probably a lot easier to do when you're the best basketball player in the world and you could literally break anyone who said you weren't funny in half.

Do you think he'd want to write for Betches? We could do like a Dear Lebron segment. Or maybe he could explain sports to us? Idk I'm just throwing some ideas around...


The Worst


J.LO as a Skeleton

So JLO went as a Skeleton and honestly, I'm underwhelmed. There were girls in my dorm who did better skeleton makeup than this. Why couldn't JLO hire one of them? This costume seems both lazy and like she put a lot of time into it. Overall rating: meh.


Taylor Swift dressed up as Olaf from frozen because of course she did. Can someone tell Taylor that Frozen is OVER? Like, okay yes North West and Penelope Disick as Anna and Elsa was cute but North West and Penelope Disick are younger than the iPhone. For adults, FROZEN IS DEAD. NO MORE FUCKING FROZEN. NO MORE LET IT GO. NO. MORE.

But seriously, way to cop Katy Perry's "giant, inconvenient costume" idea but in a lame way that proves what a nice girl narc you are. All points go to Perry in this installment of the Bad Blood feud.

Tyra Banks as Richard Branson

Holy shit this is unsettling (not as unsettling as Heidi Klum's Jessica Rabbit but still pretty bad). Why Tyra? Are you in a spiral because ANTM is ending? I can't imagine Nigel or Miss Jay would ever have let you leave the house with that beard on your face.

The weird thing about this is that I think Richard Branson is a funny costume idea, but the finished produced here just looks so fucked that I can't enjoy it. She kind of looks like a wizard? Like an old, terrifying wizard?

Like, look at this picture! She looks like a fucking alien in this picture! I don't know! I hate it! 0 stars! 



Not to be outdone, Miley Cyrus wore two costumes this year, both of which were dumb. The first was 'Cindersmelly,' some kind of weed smoking version of Cinderella because, I'm not sure if you guys knew this, Miley Cyrus smokes weed.

Then, for some inexplicable reason, she changed into this legitimately shitty looking tooth costume and was a tooth. 

Whatever, Miley. 





Powered by Disqus




Forgot Your Password?

Create new account

User login