June 23, 2014
Everybody loves a good comeback. As much as we love to see some betches fall, when idols such as our girl Britney finally get all their real hair back and secure a contract for concerts in Vegas, our resting betch face morphs into a smile for them. But there are some celebs who need to just give up. These are the five comebacks we think need to take a step back...
Once upon a time Paris Hilton was a classic betch who put heiresses on the map. Her name said it all, first being the chicest city in the world and her last with a net worth of billions. Although Kim Kardashian used to be her personal bitch, Paris has been struggling to maintain her spot in the entertainment industry. These days she's working on her career as a DJ...like I'm sorry Paris but I think it's time to just live off your trust fund and retire somewhere and not worry about your "career."
Destiny's Child was everything in the early 2000s and were our favorite middle school jams. We'll be forever indebted to the group for giving us the beautiful queen b and although we love a good throwback playlist with "Say My Name" and "Jumpin Jumpin" we don't feel so good about new tracks. Especially yet another solo album from Michelle Williams titled "Journey to Freedom"...please. Don't act like you have been trying to break free on your own when in reality you've been desperately clinging to the fame of Destiny's Child aka Beyonce for the past decade. She released a video of one of the albums tracks (utter travesty by the way) which Beyonce and Kelly appeared in. We love you B but we think it's time to roll up the partition on these ladies.
JLo is dropping a new album titled A.K.A. (aka a last desperate move for attention). She says the album shows her as "not the girl you used to know." But one of the tracks is titled Booty so...we're not sure what this new image will entail. Jen you're one of the hottest 44 year olds out there but we think it's time to step out of the recording studio for good.
Lindsay Blowhan has attempted to comeback multiple times now but this current round may be the worst yet. She started it all with a list of her sexual conquests, then a "reality" show courtesy of Oprah and then an awkward reveal of a miscarriage and now supposedly she's going to be in a play. Lindsay you should know better...you need to be behind the camera for multiple reasons. 1. Because your Botoxed face looks better edited and 2. we are worried you're not-so-sober ass will probably fall off the stage. We wish our favorite mean girl luck but think it's time to lay low for a while (hopefully on a beach somewhere and not in rehab...again).
We get a staged photo shoot from Heidi and Spencer every 6 months or so since The Hills finale in desperate hopes we won't forget about them. But this month they are making yet another attempt to stay in the limelight a little longer by appearing on the ABC show Celebrity Wife Swap. They have taped their episode in which Heidi swaps marriages with Amanda Beard (Olympian and also irrelevant) and let the
script drama unfold. We think it's time these two hide away for eternity.