For centuries, the frat bro has had his funnel. Other than his Vineyard Vines quarter zip and frat decal snap-back, the funnel is his most precious possession. It is a sacred emblem of being drunk and overly aggressive for no reason.
The betch equivalent was slapping the bag, which just doesn't have the same je ne sais quoi as the beer funnel. It's like women's softball to men's baseball. Ew. Until now. A company has crafted the "Chambong" aka the Champagne Bong aka your new best friend. It's basically a champagne fluke attached to a tube, so you can chug champagne.
The whole idea was to create a classy way to get fucked up on champagne. Like the original market was for weddings and outdoor parties. But tbh, we can take this one step further with wine and jungle juice. Anything that makes gets us drink quick is a gift from god, and with the Chambong, even the hangover is totally worth it.