If you live above the Mason-Dixon line, you possibly are not as familiar with the phenomenon that is apple pie topped with a slice of funky, salty, sharp cheddar cheese. Yes, it sounds fucking gross – but for some reason this works so amazingly that we could literally throw our diets to the wind and indulge. For serious. So, if you want to bring a taste of the south with a smattering of culinary prowess to your next holiday party, make this shit. It’s like regular apple pie but much, much cooler, thanks so a stylish cheddar crust instead of a cafeteria-style slice of cheddar slapped on top – no thanks.
By the way, we adapted this recipe from Ms. Martha Stewart herself, so don’t take any shortcuts or else it won’t taste awesome and everyone will know what a grotsky little bitch you are in the kitchen.
Preheat the oven to 425 and put the rack as low as it can go. On a piece of parchment paper (with flour on it), roll each of the crust disks to like a 14-inch round. Transfer one to a baking sheet for the top crust and put in the fridge. Wrap second disk around a rolling pin and transfer slash unroll over a 9-inch pie plate for the bottom crust. GENTLY press it into the bottom and up the sides – don’t break or put holes in your dough, god.
Alright, grab a bowl and throw the lemon juice in there. Over the sink or garbage, peel, quarter, and core the apples – then thinly slice and toss with the lemon juice. Add the sugar, flour, cinnamon, and salt to the bowl – tossing everything till it’s nice and combined.
CAREFULLY fill the bottom crust with the apple mixture and brush the edge of the crust with water – then place the top crust – yes, the one in the fridge – over the filling – pressing all around the edge to seal. Trim the overhang and press to seal – crimping if you’re fucking fancy.
With a tiny-ass knife, cut small slits in the center of the pie, then place the pie on a rimmed baking sheet and put in the oven. Bake for like 20 minutes then reduce the heat to 375 – baking until crust is golden – about 50 minutes. When it’s done, take it out and let it cool or else it’ll be molten-lava hot.
Grab a food processor and pulse together the flour, salt and sugar. Then add the butter and cheddar and pulse until the mixture sorta looks like coarse meal with a few pea-size pieces of butter. Sprinkle with 2 tablespoons ice water. Pulse until dough is crumbly but holds together when squeezed (if necessary, add up to 2 tablespoons water, 1 tablespoon at a time). Don't overmix or it’ll taste shitty.
Divide into two disks and turn dough out onto a large piece of plastic wrap. Fold plastic over dough; press to shape into a 1-inch-thick disk. Refrigerate until firm, at least 1 hour.