April 17, 2014
While many of you were in your living rooms celebrating Couchella 2014, celebs put on their hippie best and gathered amongst the plebs to listen to music that isn't theirs and/or get fucked up with other celebs this past weekend for Coachella 2014. It was a place where super hot people try to out-dress their exes' current celeb girlfriends while paparazzi follow them around. So not unlike a betch's Sunday afternoon. It's the mother of all mixers and the fashion is either really on point or fugly beyond comprehension.
Somebody call Morticia, these bitches are stealing her look.
We don't hate Kylie's outfit because she loves that sorcerer shit but Kendall just looks like she's about to fly away or like feast on dead deer.
Kendall no!!! There's a lot about this that I can't handle. Specifically the cropped top. It reminds me of a top my foreign grandma would have gifted me back in 1991 that she purchased on sale from Kids R Us. I also dislike the shorts, the belt, the necklace, and the Red Bull. The only acceptable items are last year's Ray Bans and the floor length vest and the latter's only okay because, Coachella. Get it together Kendall. Are we at Coachella to get drunk or churn butter?
I meannnn saving the best for last?? It's simple, the nose ring is a statement, we get it. Kind of how my boyfriend is a statement at an all girls pregame. Must've felt like she had to pick her nose the entire day, though.
This was my personal fav of Kylie's looks. She dressed her age and didn't need to stick her sister's hoop rings up her nose to stand out. Meanwhile, Bieber was busy performing so Selena found someone new into whom to dig her claws. Personally I love Selena's floor length lacy dress, it perfectly accomplishes the daytime slutty look while still remaining chic.
Who looked perf: Julianne Hough, Chanel Iman, Dianna Agron, Poppy Delevingne, Alessandra Ambrosio,
Who looked "comfortable" but dorbs: Ashley Greene, Emma Roberts, Sarah Hyland
Who looked like her normal self: Katy Perry (cutie but your hair looks like my tongue after a serious sesh with fun dip) and Vanessa Hudgens, as always.