Cocktails & Cheese Course: Never Eat Cheese Sober Again

By Chic Betch

Whenever the words free alcohol are uttered a betch gets her Victoria's Secret angel wings. On this very, holy and sacred night those words were uttered over 4+ times and accompanied by fancy rich AF cheese. I know, I thought all betches go to hell too, but no, we were in classy alcohol and cheese class heaven. Oh Warner, do you remember when we spent those four amazing hours in the hot tub together after winter formal? This was better.

The Summer Cocktails and Cheese course at Murray's Cheese shop taught us about cheese in the best way possible: while incredibly drunk. See, the beauty of pairing together our two new 'C's—cheese and cocktails—is that you can get blacked out enough so that you will never remember eating the calorie-rich cheese in the first place. Plus, when you go to fancy dinner parties you can drop knowledge about the cheese and separate the girls who shop at Trader Joe's for cheese and the bad Whole Food's betches who know their shit. The friendship relationship status can also adjust accordingly.


French 75 (No ice, lemon twist)

  • 1 Gin 
  • .5 Lemon
  • .5 Simple Sytup (1:1)
  • 2 Sparking Wine


  • 1.5 Light Rum
  • .75 Simple Syrup
  • .75 Fresh Lime Juice
  • 4-8 Mint Leaves
  • Soda Water

Add mint and simple syrup to a highball glass. Muddle gently, then add Rum, Lime Juice, and ice. Add soda, stir, and garnish with a mint sprig. 

Some Like It Caliente 

  • 1.5 Tequila
  • .75 Agave syrup (2:1)
  • .75 Fresh Lime Juice
  • 2/cocktail Jalapeno slices 

Build all ingredients in a mixing glass or tin. Add ice, shake, and double strain into a rimmed Collins glass with fresh ice. 

Whiskey Wild 

  • 1.5 Peach Tea Infused Bourbon
  • .75 Lemon
  • .75 Syrup
  • 2 oz Black Tea
  • Basil leaves and/or lemon wheels for garnish


THE MENU: Cheese


  • St. Stephen from Hudson Valley Creamery
  • Coupoles from Vermont Creamery
  • Malghese from Norther Italy 
  • Ossau Iraty Vielle from Aquitaine, France
  • Challerhocker 



Do we recommend a class where you can get blackout drunk and take Instagram pictures that will let all your followers know what a fancy betch you are? Yes, yes, a million times yes! While we've talked a lot about the parts where you get to drink a lot so far—did we mention there's a ton of alcohol involved?—we also learned a lot in the class. While we're usually not ones for learning electively, we were all ears when it's about our favorite topics. We learned how to make mixed drinks, how alcohol was made, and the history behind the drinks we had—like, did you know that a French 75 (a drink that combines champagne AND spirits) is named after a gun? That's badass.

The personal favorite was tea-infused cocktails, which are honestly a game changer. You just take the alcohol of your choice and the tea or your choice and drop them in ~*infuse*~ until taste. It honestly didn't even taste like alcohol and I only knew I was blacked when I reread my sent texts in the morning.

Plus, unlike other cooking classes we didn't have to be afraid of fucking anything up. All there was to do was sit back, eat, drink, and try to find out how they complement one another. Now, we know how to do thinks like make a simple syrup, so when we're getting blacked out it can taste as good as it makes us feel. Plus, we now know you need to pair salty cheeses with sweet drinks and creamy cheeses with a strong, dry alcohol.

So, betches stop eating your cheese AFTER you get drunk and start eating it while you get drunk. This is peak-night cheese, betches.


We don't have to live like this anymore! No longer will we drink alcohol that burns our throat and not chase it with a cheese that's been fermented in Beyonce's guest house—or something fancy like that, I don't know, I was pretty drunk by the end of the class. Honestly, the pairing is so randomly good and balanced and you can find out how to see the light by attending one of the cool classes offered at Murray's.

We’re going to be reviewing more classes AND if you want to take your own class you can get a 10% discount if you book it through Just use the code: Betches10.





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