May 19, 2015
OG teen mom Bristol Palin was scheduled to get married this weekend, but now the wedding isn’t happening. Her fiancé was Medal of Honor recipient Dakota Meyer, so she probably dodged a bullet by not marrying a guy named Dakota. Sarah Palin released a statement saying the two families will still get together this weekend to "celebrate life,” which is probably total bullshit, and basically means that they already paid for a venue and a shitload of catered food.
We all remember when teenage Bristol got pregnant from Levi Johnston way back when her mom was running for VP, but Bristol and Levi didn’t work out after he proved to be a douchebag that wanted to pose naked for Playgirl. Bristol’s personality might have also been the problem, but that’s just a guess based on literally everything her mother has ever said.