Greeks At College Of Charleston Aren’t Allowed To Drink Anymore, LOL Yah Okay

By Lisa Vanderbetch

Is there anything better than being in college? The whole studying thing sucks, but if you play your cards right and take bullshit classes or sit next to the smartest kid in the room for the hard ones, you really don’t have to do much of that. The rest of your time is spent either a) binge watching Netflix at your sorority house, b) having sex, or c) going to parties and getting fucked up. I’m getting nostalgic just thinking about it. But now, the world’s biggest buzz kill aka the president of College of Charleston is banning ALL alcohol-related activities for its fraternities and sororities. How tf is that even possible?

Isn’t college just one big-ass “alcohol-related activity” in general? It seems like a stretch that you’re going to be able to regulate this sort of thing, prez. Not to mention, this is Charleston we’re talking about. It’s like the world’s frattiest city. And if Southern Charm has taught me anything, it’s that Charlestonians know how to drink. If my girl Patricia has a martini at all times at like, age 70, imagine what the undergrads can do. So unless you get a bunch of narcs and have them stalk Greeks around campus, I just don’t see this being all that successful.

Also, can you ban just one group of people from doing something? That seems a little unfair. Are Greeks the only ones that have done fucked-up shit when they were drunk? Are they the only students that like to have a drink or five at a band party? Doubt it. The prez even said in his little statement that it’s a campus-wide issue. So why just punish one group of people? Whatever. They’ll overturn this shit the second admissions is over because no one in their right mind will apply to a college where sororities and fraternities aren’t allowed to drink.




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