Congress is Trying to Make Our Liquor Cheaper, Thanks Obama!

By Sgt. Olivia Betchson

Just in case you've lost all hope in our legislative system, I'm about to give you one reason to have a little more faith: Congress is introducing a new bill to make liquor cheaper. Full disclosure: it won't make it that much cheaper—Ciroc is still going to be expensive AF (but like, worth it)—but given how fast most betches go through handles, every little bit counts.

The Distillery Innovation and Excise Tax Reform act, which sounds like something out of pre-revolutionary America, was introduced by Rep. Todd Young of Indiana (a Republican), and Rep. John Yarmuth of Kentucky (A Democrat...they have those there?). I for one am thrilled the representatives of these great states were able to reach over the party line and work together on this most vital of issues. It just goes to show you the great things our country can achieve when we put aside small ideological differences and focus on what's important to us, like getting shitfaced.

The reason this bill exists in the first place? Well, you may have noticed that the federal government taxes hard liquor differently than, say, beer and wine, but you probably didn't since the last thing you care about when stocking up for a pregame is how much of a cut the feds are taking. But it is true that the feds tax liquor more—about 21 cents per ounce of alcohol for shit like vodka, whiskey, gin, etc. while beer is only taxed around 10 cents per ounce of alc and wine's even less at 8 cents.

The bill would drop the liquor tax as follows (according to the Washington Post):

"The bill would drop the federal tax on spirits significantly, from its current $13.50 per proof gallon to $2.70 per proof gallon for the first 100,000 gallons and $9 after that."

I'm just going to let you all interpret what that means in real-people numbers, since I've re-read that sentence a good 5 times and am still confused. Is this going to create a mad rush to the liquor stores if the first 100,000 gallons are only taxed an extra $2 and change, while all the unlucky bastards who buy afterwards will have to pay the $9/gallon tax? Whatever, I have no fucking clue, point is you could save like, a dollar or two. Then again it all really depends on how much your particular state taxes liquor since most of the money from liquor taxes go to state/local taxes and indirect taxes (whatever tf those are) anyway.

But whatever, with your next handle purchase you could save a buck. Go buy yourself something nice.





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