February 10, 2015
If you’ve been watching Empire, then you already know who this next Betch of the Week is going to be. If you haven’t been watching Empire, then wtf are you doing with your life? Get on it.
So yeah, this week’s BOTW is none other than Cookie Lyon. If the phrase “behind every great man is a woman” wasn’t said about Cookie, then I honestly don’t know who else they had in mind. It goes without saying that Cookie fucking made Lucious, and unlike half the characters on Empire, Cookie is smart and actually knows her shit. Like, I’m pretty sure she’s the only person who WORKS AT A FUCKING MUSIC LABEL that ever says anything somewhat intelligent about music. No, “that’s hot” doesn’t count. Fucking…gtfo of here with that “drip drop, drip drippity drop” bullshit. Okay, rant over.
Ugh, where do I even start with Cookie? She is such a pro at manipulation that I honestly wish she was my real mom (sorry Joan). You just know that no matter what happens on this show, Cookie is going to end up on top because she will scrap and mind-fuck her way there. Some prime examples that prove Cookie is basically the Napoleon of psychological warfare:
Don’t get it twisted, Cookie is not afraid of anyone, man or woman. She does whatever she wants, when she wants, and she truly embodies the DGAF mindset that all betches everywhere strive for.
In addition to being extremely scary, Cookie is also super humble.
And she’s never afraid to keep it real.
And her shade throwing is always, ALWAYS on point.
Even though she married a SAB who’s trying to fuck her over big time, she doesn’t let it get her down.
Oh, and finally, even though she’s always wearing fur vests and leopard print, she always looks flawless.
DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT VEST IS HIDEOUS.
Keep slaying, Cookie.