May 7, 2015
Man, cleaning your room is a fucking drag, right? Like, why the fuck I gotta fold all my clothes and put my shit away? It's not like you have to live or sleep in here, mom. What would make chores a lot easier (not to mention go by a lot faster) would be a hit of the 'ole booger sugar. That's exactly what a couple of chill Florida parents did, offering their two teenage daughters weed and cocaine as incentives for doing their chores and excelling in school. They are now facing some very un-chill felony charges of child abuse and drug possession, according to TheSmokingGun.
Joey and Chadd Mudd, from Bumfuck, Florida admitted to police that they used drugs as bargaining chips to get their daughters (aged 13 and 15) to do shit. The mother, after waiving her miranda rights, admitted to having smoked cheeba with the girls on five separate occasions. Like, I'm sorry, but isn't half of what makes smoking weed cool the fact that your parents don't want you doing it? The dad admitted to going skiing with them in his truck parked in front of a local Treasure Island. I don't know what that is, but if there's anyone from Florida who also happens to be able to read who can tell me, I'd like to know if it's as delightfully Floridian as I'm imagining.
The mom made her $500 bail but has been ordered to have no contact with the kids. The dad is still in jail. These two need to take a cue from classier (but equally horrible) parents: If you want your kids to do better in school, con your doctor into writing them a bogus adderall prescription.
What gift is this? It's cocaine, child.