March 3, 2014
I'll start off by saying I have some serious fucking daddy issues. Not like 'oh I think I have some issues' daddy issues, but like, 'my dad was never around and when he was he was a dick so now I habitually fuck older guys' daddy issues.
My friends think my stories are funny and ridiculous and don't take me seriously, but I am genuinely attracted to and connect with men who are significantly older than I am. I am certainly wise beyond my years for a girl in college, but I find myself connecting with men that I thought were even out of my range, going into the late 20's and even a guy in his 30's.
When I'm with said men the age difference doesn't even seem to be there, we're just two people hanging out… But when I have to say it out loud I can tell how absolutely ridiculous it sounds. I guess the question is… Is something wrong with them? Or me?
Age is just a number
Dear Age is Just a Number,
I think on some level there's something wrong with both you and the old guys you're sleeping with. On your end, you're clearly trying to recreate the issues you had with your own dad but this time 'fix' them with these old guys. Generally when dating we search for people that can recreate relationships we're comfortable with, i.e. relationships with our parents because that's the only way we know how to be treated. That's why people with daddy issues often date guys who treat them like shit.
There's nothing wrong with dating an older guy if that happens to be who you fall in love with (and you're over eighteen) but if you find that this is a pattern it's clearly a sign of you having some deeper seeded issues surrounding not having enough fatherly attention as a child. But at least you're aware of that, which is the first step. This shit is a little out of my range of advice giving and you should find yourself a therapist to weed that shit out ASAP before you wake up one day to realize you're Crystal Harris.
In terms of these guys it's pretty obvious what's in it for them. You're young and make them feel cool and desirable because you want them. They're clearly not looking for anything really serious or mature because if they were they'd date girls who were closer to their own age or at the very least, out of college. No legit cool guy in his twenties is choosing to date someone he has to visit in a sorority house.
On the bright side, old bros are more likely to pay for shit,
Email your pressing questions to [email protected] and we may just answer you.