Dallas Cowboys' Owner Jerry Jones Is Batshit Crazy

By The Betches

He's taken scandalous pictures with scantily-clad women (but honestly what billionaire hasn't?). He's racked up a few sexual harassment lawsuits. He's even installed cage dancers in the Cowboys stadium.

Jerry Jones is a glorified frat star. And what do frat stars love? Football.

Jones loves football so much that this week he offered to boot his wife out of her first class seat to London in favor of his injured quarterback, Jessica Simpson's ex-man candy Tony Romo. The Cowboys play this Sunday in London as a part of the NFL's international series, which is bougie as fuck.

Some of those seats really make out into a nice cot, bed-type configuration,’’ Jones said. “He will get one of those. [My wife] Gene will sit up in the bulkhead. Romo will lounge on the way over. You don’t think it’d be me, do you?’’

Jones's wife has put up with a lot. Strippers, cocaine, dealing with a lunatic on a daily basis, but THIS? Being relegated to coach in favor of a scrawny white boy who throws a football around?

The Cowboys posted a picture of Tony Romo lounging in first class, along with his hunk of a teammate Jason Witten. But no picture of Gene in first class, even though Jones insisted he was joking. Hmmm.



Just remember, Jerry: happy wife, happy life. Get your shit together.






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