February 18, 2013
I dated this pro for about two years. But being the SAB that he is, he ended it out of the blue last winter. Since then, he was always passive aggressive and openly steered clear of me. I took the "there are plenty of pros in the sea" approach, got over it, and saw other people. After our split, he had his fun, dated the poster child for arm flab for a short lived spree (vom), she broke it off with him a few months ago, and now his sorry ass is coming back crawling, pretending like nothing happened. Now he's texting me again about hanging out, and has made moves to try and get back together. I've been continuing to act uninterested, but I'm torn. I HAD really liked him...he's one of the few guys that had actually lived up to my overly lofty standards. Any other guy would get an easy veto, but I'm seriously questioning whether or not this bro deserves a second chance. Since he was the one who initially walked away, taking him back would be a serious blow to the ego. Should I be more concerned with winning by not letting him get what he wants, or giving into what both of us kind of want? Take him back or move the fuck on?
Ditch or scratch the itch
Dear Ditch or Scratch the Itch,
The answer to your questions depends on a bunch of different factors which you haven't provided in your email. What were the reasons this bro gave you for breaking up with you? What are the reasons he wants to be with you now? Your decision of whether or not to take him back now should highly depend on this.
My guess is he broke up with you because he thought he could do better and then dated someone shittier and got dumped anyway. This guy's ego is bruised and he thinks going back to a sure thing (you) would help build him up again. If this is the case you should definitely not go back with him. Who wants to be a person a bro thinks he can treat like shit and then go back to whenever he feels like it?
If however, your bro had legit reasons for breaking up with you and gives you very substantial ways that he's changed as a person and would be better for you then go for it. It seems like you really like him and if he's willing to treat you the way you deserve this time around and explains why he was wrong in the first place, I'd say go for it. If you do take him back, make sure to do so slowly and make him work for that shit. He is the one who fucked up by initially breaking up with you so he should be kissing your ass and buying you a ton of nice shit to make up for it. He'll have to earn his way back from the ex-boyfriend life cycle and make sure you don't let him forget it.