Is It Desperate to Text a Guy I'm Hooking Up With First? Dear Betch...

By Betches Staff

Dear Betches,

First of all I wanted to say that I absolutely love your blog and read it all the time because you guys are obviously fucking hilarious. That being said I never in a million years thought I would be one to write to you guys asking for advice, maybe because I thought it was something only extremely desperate people did  Maybe this means I'm desperate, but I'm only doing this because I know you'll give me the cold hard truth that my too nice friends are too scared to. Back in May I met this super hot (and older) bro at a party (that my ex was at.)  We totally eye-fucked and would've hooked up that night had it not been for my psycho ex barging in on us to break things up before anything got started (but thats another story.)  I stormed out of the party so angry at my ex (and so drunk) that I didn't even exchange numbers with this dreamy guy and thought I'd never see him again.  BUT about a week later he found me on social media and asked for my number and started texting me daily.  We met up a couple times and hooked up, but things sort of fizzled out and we stopped texting about a month and a half ago. He recently added me on snapchat and we've exchanged a minimal number of snaps back and forth but thats it.

We both go to college in Boston (different schools) and my question for you is should I reach out and text him when I get back to the city to see if he wants to meet up, or just move on and forget about him? Part of me thinks a friendly text that shows I'm still interested wouldn't hurt anyone, but another part of me thinks if he wanted to talk to me he would.  He initiated every conversation we had while we were talking (I never texted him first) so maybe the reason we stopped talking was because he was tired of initiating things and wanted me to make a move.  Could this be my move? Or is it too late and I should just move on and find someone else?  I obviously like this guy enough that I'm still thinking about him months after hooking up and have hopes of seeing him again, so I need to know if these hopes are completely pointless, or if I should give one last effort in to making something happen with him.


Desperate Betch

Dear Desperate,

Thank you, at least somebody gets it and doesn’t just think I take pleasure in being a complete bitch to people (even if that part may be true).

You'll be pleasantly surprised to hear that IMO you're not really as desperate as you think you are. In a way, you're right on both sides of the coin: yes, a friendly text to show you still would be DTF
wouldn't hurt anyone, yes, if the bro wanted to see you he'd hit you up. If you hit him up first, will you be winning? No. In the grand scheme of things, is texting a bro who you know probably wants to fuck you the worst move you could make? Also no. The fact that you're getting snapchats from this guy is a good sign, probs indicating that he, too, is testing the waters to see if you'd let him smash when you get back to school. So like, text him something betchy that's half direct, half non-committal, and see how it plays out. As long as you don't expect him to take you out to dinner, you're fine tbh (read: not completely delusional).

It (most likely) can't hurt to try,

The Betches

Got a fucked up question only The Betches will understand? Email us at [email protected] and you just might get a response. 





Powered by Disqus




Forgot Your Password?

Create new account

User login