January 1, 2015
Dez Bryant set the single-season touchdown for the Dallas fucking Cowboys Sunday, and that's not the only reason he's deserving of being this week's betchy athlete.
He entered the NFL in 2010 and has scored 56 touchdowns since. But he's an even bigger deal off the field, because this guy gives ZERO FUCKS.
Dez had a really shitty childhood. His mother popped him out when she was 14, then was put in jail for dealing a little white powder. So he jumped around from foster home to foster home, and in the meantime he was really fucking good at football. So in spite of his sketchy past, he was drafted to the Cowboys.
So it kinda makes sense that Dez just does whatever he wants. One time, he was kicked out of a mall for refusing to pull up his pants. Then he did what any new millionaire would do and racked up a few hundred thousand dollars of debt buying new jewelry. Throw in an a few additional arrests, and this guy makes Johnny Manziel look like a saint.
The Cowboys put him on a curfew and gave him a security detail. He became kind of lame, but then in classic Dez Bryant-fashion he just started bitching out his teammates on the field.
And he's sitting records in the mean time. Boss.