April 30, 2015
I have a question.
I am a freshman and am considering rushing again next semester.
My college (Cornell) only does rush in January. I rushed in January and the sorority houses that I felt most at "home" I got cut the night before pref night. So, I dropped it. The houses I had left were okay but I knew that if I didn't have my heart in something, I didn't want to commit to it. And I did not feel like these houses were the 'place' for me. I do not regret that I did not continue my rush.
My school is very competitive and I tried to prepare as much as I could but I guess I didn't enough. Obviously, I was very, very upset because I didn't think the girls knew me enough. Because, I think that if a few of the houses at least knew me more that I would have not gotten cut.
The only issue is that I do not know if sophomores (especially those who have gone through rush before) are looked down upon. What is your advice you can give me on this? I also have no idea how informal rush works.
I totally missed out on the great parties that I had been going to all first semester when it was all pledge events. I have been invited to a few formals for frats, but I don't get to have my own crush/formal/date nights. And no, I didn't do something terrible to wreck my reputation. I want to be able to have a ton of girls to lean back on, go out with, live with, and always have a great connection with. But, rush week was really stressful and I don't know if I can do it all over again only to be in this same situation again.
Should I rush again next year? Help!!!
There are so many things wrong with this letter, the fact that you even say the words “the only issue is” absolutely astounds me. Lets go through these chronologically.
1. First of all you start with “I have a question.” You’re not MLK, you don’t have to state that you have a question when you are literally writing in to an advice column where the sole purpose is to answer peoples’ questions. This immediately tipped me off that you are not the brightest bulb on the tree and the rest of your letter proved me right.
2. I assume that by the houses you felt the most at “home” in were all top tier? And when you inevitably got cut (we’ll get into the possible reasons for that later), you most likely threw a bitch fit and didn’t even finish rush. You are obviously a flake (a potential reason for why you got cut btw).
3. The fact that you actually wrote that you were “very, very upset” again proves my point that you must have thrown a full scale BF at some point during rush week (another reason you got cut, no one wants to hear it).
4. I thought it was common knowledge that anyone who has gone through rush but either dropped out or was cut is looked down upon the second time around? But in your case, it sounds like you are going to have a serious case of FOMO if you don’t rush again, so you might just have to deal and try your luck with informal rush. Only advice here is that you should try to work any connections that you have to try to get in somewhere.
5. Your whole last paragraph is so annoying. First you whine about missing out on pledge parties, and then you complain about how you don’t want to go through rush again. Well, here’s the facts. 1) Maybe you made it seem like you only wanted to rush for the parties, this could’ve been a big part of why you were cut. 2) You are not going through rush week again, you are going through informal rush, which is an entirely different thing than regular rush and that can be good and bad.
Look this was your main mistake; you should’ve stuck it out and finished rush to see where you ended up in the first place. Things like this you just never know and maybe you would’ve liked a house that you didn’t expect or maybe you would’ve found out that being in a sorority isn’t for you. But overall, get over it and stop being a flake. Honestly, you have quite a few things to learn if you ever want to live a happy, successful, betchy life—so far Elle Woods would not approve.
Got a fucked up question only The Betches will understand? Email us at [email protected] and you might just get a response.