If you were a child any time in the last twenty years and you weren’t too poor for cable, it’s almost a guarantee that you watched a shitload of Disney Channel. Cartoon Network was for boys (or fugly girls who liked video games), and Animal Planet was for nicegirls-in-training who carried around a sketchbook in seventh grade and spent their free time drawing horses.
Disclaimer: Anything not on this list is either irrelevant, old and irrelevant, or new enough that we were too old to be watching fucking Disney Channel. Feel free to argue about our rankings, because it’s children’s television, and we haven’t been able to feel feelings since before Selena Gomez turned into a slut.
We’re still bitter about Suite Life, because the kids on this show were living our fucking DREAMS. We literally begged our parents to let us live in a hotel, but it never worked because that doesn’t happen in real life. We totally wanted to be best friends with London, because she was equally as rich but slightly less pretty than us. Also, automatic 10% bonus points for Ashley Tisdale’s presence, because obviously.