September 24, 2015
Ivanka Trump is Donald "look at my toupee" Trump's daughter, and she's the combination of every woman from Sex and The City. She's got Charlotte's class, Miranda's career, Carrie's style, and none for Samantha Jones bye. She's an EVP at Trump Organization, married to a retired SAB and first class member of the Lucky Sperm Club, and has really cute kids. #Goals.
Anyway, she announced today via video that she's pregnant with her third baby, because third times the charm? Her daughter Arabella rocks a headband and knows how to sit quietly when mommy is busy exploiting her family life to make more money. And her son Joseph already has the entitlement of a rich, white bro. What else could a betch ask for?
Her video announcement is basically a Pinterest board - down to her kid's pajamas - but then 2 year old Joseph fucks it up for everyone. She asked him if he was happy about being a big brother, and he responded with exactly how all of us feel about our younger siblings: "Nah, fam." Even at 2 years old he gets that he'll have to split his inheritance with the new kid. So congrats to Ivanka on starting her own campaign for "World's Greatest Mom."