March 9, 2015
In another not-so-shocking attempt to stay relevant, Kim Kardashian has once again committed hair crime by dying her hair blonde (aka albino white). It wasn’t long before the world started to see the resemblance between the new Kim and the only other person crazy enough to try and pull off such a fugly hairstyle: Draco Malfoy. However, we didn’t really mind it on Draco. Maybe it was his attitude, bad boy reputation or ability to perform spells, but the slicked-back white hair kind of did something for us. Kim’s hair, on the other hand, is anything but magical.
It didn’t take long for Draco to jump on the shit talking bandwagon. Tom Felton (real-life Draco) took to Insta this weekend and gave a major shout out to Kim. First, he posted the now infamous photo of Kim at Hogwarts with the caption “So apparently Kanye has a Draco fetish…#muse”. He continued his Harry Potter-themed insta rampage by posting a picture with castmates Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley), Bonnie Wright (Ginny Weasley) and James Phelps (Fred Weasley) captioned “Kim K. stood me up. Outnumbered by 3 Weasleys. Ugh.” We’re with you, Draco. Being surrounded by gingers would be pretty comparable to a room full of dementors.
Surprisingly enough, this isn’t Felton’s first run-in with Kim. In an interview with Huffington Post earlier this year, he used his Harry Potter knowledge to figure out which Hogwarts houses various celebrities would belong to. He claimed Kim would join Draco in Slytherin while Kanye would be best suited for Hufflepuff (lolz). I think it’s safe to say these two aren’t worthy to even be considered for Hogwarts seeing as Dumbledore wouldn’t have time for their shit. The only one from the Kardashian Klan who could possibly be enrolled at the be-all-end-all school of witchcraft and wizardry is Kylie; that bitch must have brewed some legit poly juice potion to have made such an amazing physical transformation.