Following the devastating news that Drake was “postponing” the remaining dates of his Summer ‘16 Tour—devastating because this betch was supposed to be attending tonight, fuck you Drizzy—comes the even more heartbreaking news that he has also postponed his relationship with Rihanna. The will-they-or-won’t-they-or-why-don’t-they-just-fucking-do-it-already couple has been on and off for the last couple of years, and it seemed like after this year’s VMAs they finally just put their dumb, big egos aside and just admitted that they like each other. Well that didn’t last too long because sources are already reporting Drake and Rihanna have broken up. Welp, it was fun while it lasted.
A celebrity couple breaking up isn’t exactly shocking news, and we’ll probably forget about it in like a week, so it’s good that Drake and Riri didn’t do anything permanent to remember their relationship by, right? OH WAIT. They got matching shark tattoos, remember that? Awkward. At least Drake didn’t get Rihanna’s name tattooed on his chest, because you can’t exactly turn “Rihanna” into any other word in the English language.
Drake is supposedly hooking up with some model named India Love. K. I just have two questions: Is her nickname Lil’ Funyuns? And does Drake listen to Drake to get over his own breakups?