February 24, 2015
Apparently last week Drake released an album called “If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late.” He essentially pulled a Beyonce. The album had no publicity and sold no physical copies but seemed to do moderately well as it streamed 17.3 million times in three days on Spotify. As Drake has stated earlier: “This is nothing for the radio, but they still gone play it though.” None of this music belongs on the radio. The entire album is him slurring incoherent statements about gettin’ it poppin’. Sometimes he throws in a ‘yeah’ or a dog bark for effect. Upon first listen, it sounds a lot like every other Drake album out there, and that sentiment remains after more listens. Some particularly Drake-esque lyrics include:
“If I die, I’m a legend.”
"I need a girl who gonna love me, someone to fuck."
“I might just break the bank tonight, YEAUH.”
"You can have her when I finished."
“Text from a centerfold / I ain’t reply, let ‘em know I read it though.”
“Walk up in my label like, where the check though”
“Please do not speak to me like I’m that Drake from four years ago, I’m at a higher place.”
There’s a song on the album called ‘Madonna,’ which fueled this Instagram post:
Sometimes things grow on you but this one may not.