Make Your Own Takeout: Drunken Noodles

By Betchy Crocker

If you’re anything like us, you’re not basic enough to order regular Chinese delivery on a dreary Tuesday night. No, you’re of the delivery Thai variety, and your favorite dish is drunken noodles.


Of course you can’t fucking always order take out/delivery because, well, sometimes you’re broke after buying those shoes last week.

Good news: You can make stellar drunken noodles at home thanks to our adapted recipe from Food&Wine. They used tofu, but you can totally sub in chicken, pork, beef, shrimp, or like, leave that shit out altogether.


 - Vegetable oil
 - About 1 cup of protein if using – so like tofu or chicken or what-the-fuck-ever
 - ½ cup chicken or veggie stock
 - 1 tbsp oyster sauce
 - 1 tbsp fish sauce – find it in the Asian aisle
 - 1 ½ tsps roasted red chile paste – try Thai Kitchen’s
 - ¾ tsp soy sauce
 - ¼ tsp molasses or honey if you’re struggling
 - ½ tsp brown sugar
 - ½ red bell pepper, sliced and seeded
 - 1 medium jalapeno
 - 3 garlic cloves, minced
 - 1 red Thai bird chile, minced – look hard for this because it’s like, key for this
 - ½ lb pad Thai rice noodles, cooked
 - Thai basil

Ok yes it’s a shit ton of ingredients, but like, this is easy. First, in a sauté pan over medium heat, cook whatever protein you’re using. Set aside.

Grab a big bowl and mix together the stock, oyster sauce, fish sauce, chile paste, soy sauce, honey or molasses, and sugar. Set that shit aside.

Get a big sauté pan and heat about 2 tbsps of the oil. Toss in the red bell pepper, jalapeno, garlic, and chile and stir fry over high heat until you can smell everything – probs like 2-3 minutes. Add the cooked noodles and stir fry another 5 minutes or so, then add the sauce and toss all the stuff together. Add the cooked protein if using. Remove from heat and fold in the Thai basil. Shazam. You made totes great Thai food!




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