A Note on The Duke Porn Star Scandal | Betches

A Note on The Duke Porn Star Scandal

By The Betches

In recent weeks a scandal involving an 18 year old Duke freshman that was outed as being a porn star has come to our attention. The freshman, known by her super creative alias ‘Lauren’ was revealed to Duke’s campus after a fellow freshman porn enthusiast Thomas Bagley saw her in a movie and then asked if she was in it. She said yes, swore him to secrecy, and then like any typical Duke frat freshman douchebag he told fellow frat stars at a rush event that night. Thus, a mini scandal was born and a plethora of twitter responses, CollegeACB posts, and general shit talking about Lauren was initiated.


Lauren then fired back, writing a response to her harassers via the Duke Chronicle and xoJane about a wide variety of shit including how people at Duke are assholes, waitressing sucks, and the unfairness of being labeled a ho and not having any privacy.

Now, my issue with this scandal is that there really doesn’t seem to be an issue. What’s the discussion here? That porn stars should be treated with respect? Of course, everyone should be treated with respect as long as they're doing what they want to do and not hurting anyone. The shocking news that frat boys at one of the douchiest schools in the country are taking an opportunity to make fun of and talk about a girl they recently discovered has sex for money? I don’t think there’s an immature college bro in the nation that wouldn’t have something snarky or dickish to say about the matter. That kind of comes along with the territory of sex and college.

I think the important thing for Lauren to take away from this is that people are always going to have an opinion and they’re always going to talk shit. As they say, opinions are like assholes. Everyone has them. You can’t control that. What you can control is whether or not you give a shit about what people have to say. The solution isn’t asking people to stop judging you. That’s never going to happen. People by their nature, right or wrong, judge everyone. They never have full information and they can never really know you but they’ll always have opinions. A truly confident self assured person learns to tune out the extra noise of life and just concentrate on doing their own thing and not giving a shit what people think. Even Lauren judges and talks shit about professions while simultaneously urging her peers to not judge hers.

"I worked as a waitress as a job for a year in high school and not only did it interfere with my school where I was barely sleeping and wasn't doing my work, but also I was making $400 a month after taxes. I felt like I was being degraded and treated like s—t. My boss was horrible to me," Lauren said. "For people to tell me that doing porn and having sex, which I love, is more degrading than being a waitress and being somebody's servant and picking up after somebody and being treated like a lesser, second-class citizen, that literally makes no sense. To be perfectly honest, I felt more degraded in a minimum wage, blue-collar, low paying, service job than I ever did doing porn."

So it’s okay for you to judge the food services industry but because you happen to like the sexual liberation that comes with being a porn star no one else is allowed to judge that? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

Lauren also states:

“Women are supposed to be outwardly pure and modest, while at the same time being sexually alluring and available. If a woman does not have sex after a date, she will be labeled as a prude. If she does have sex, she will be referred to later as a ho or a slut.”

Yes. That is a common perception and an issue involving women and sex. You’re not saying anything particularly enlightening. On that note, if a man is nice and respectful he’s often called a pussy or ‘your bitch’ and if he’s overly flirtatious or forward he’s often called a creep. Stereotypes and generalizations have always occurred throughout history and as much as we try to change them they still exist today. I mean, you just made a stereotype and generalization about the men of Duke in the same article you ask people not to make generalizations about sex workers. 

“I personally attribute that to male privilege. The median income of students at Duke is $350,000. So you have these rich, entitled males coming to Duke and what that translates to is a sense of entitlement over women’s bodies and women’s sex. Men essentially feel entitled to have sex with us because they’re used to getting everything they’ve ever wanted.”

You can’t judge the rich bros of Duke just because they judge you. To generalize them and reduce them to that stereotype is just as bad as them claiming you deserve less respect and privacy because of who you are.

Lauren also states:

“I find it interesting that porn (a billion-dollar industry) is consumed by millions of people -- men and women (and all other equally wonderful genders) alike -- yet no one is willing to consider the lives of the people behind the camera. No one wants to hear about the abuses and exploitation that take place, no one wants to hear about the violence committed every day against sex workers, no one wants to consider that we have hopes and dreams and ambitions.”

I mean, COME ON. Of course no one wants to consider that a porn star has hopes and dreams and ambitions. The entire point of porn is that it’s devoid of non-sexual emotion. To suggest men consider the background and feelings of women in the porn industry is to take away their entire reason for watching: non-intellectual release.

Lauren goes on to talk about sites like CollegeACB and the objectification of women:

“We are a culture that disrespects and slut-shames women. If you look at the anonymous CollegiateACB forums of other schools, there are maybe four topics. At Duke, there are 800 topics. All of them are “rate freshman girls on a scale of one to 10” or “which Asian has the biggest boobs.” So Duke has this — and I blame the Greek system a lot for this — culture of objectifying women.”

CollegeACB, which in my day was known as Juicy Campus is a site for trolls and people who are so pathetic and unhappy with their lives that they need to find a public forum to anonymously talk shit about their peers in an effort to raise themselves up. To read or indulge anything written on this site just gives it more legitimacy. Things like this will always exist because there will always be losers in our society who will need these types of forums to gain self confidence and validate their existence by bringing others down. You can’t blame the whole Greek system. You can’t blame an entire culture. You can only blame the (hopefully small) percentage of students that are so pathetic that utilize sites like this.

She then continues:

“I’m not very fun to go to parties with. All my friends are getting drunk and when guys are hitting on them I’m always saying, ‘You better not rape her, you better not take advantage of her.”

I mean you sound both open minded and like a blast to party with.

Finally, Lauren’s take home message for opening up about being in porn appears to be this:

“So basically the narrative is you can’t be sexual and be intelligent; you have to choose one. That’s what this whole thing really comes down to. I want to shatter the image that people have of sex workers. I want to put a face to an industry that no one is willing to talk about but everyone is willing to consume. I love how the same people who are shaming me are the same people who are jacking off to me.”

While a lot of what she’s writing here is true it’s also largely irrelevant. I don’t think most guys are under the belief that you can’t be sexual and intelligent. Being a porn star brings certain stereotypes of being dirty or slutty. Being a Duke student also brings certain stereotypes of being fun and smart. Both are generalizations and promote judgement of institutions that can never be fully understood unless you're part of them. So in the vain of betchiness we plead both Lauren and everyone at Duke to stop caring. People are always going to talk shit, what matters is if you’re listening.




hand_icon

LET IT OUT, HONEY

small_arrow

Powered by Spot.IM

Forgot Your Password?

Create new account

User login